Funny "2012 New Year Resolutions & Predictions" Facebook Status Updates

Charlie...

predicts that although Steve Jobs already died, in 2012 he will die again and it will be faster and better this time.
predicts Charlie Sheen will make his comeback on a new hit show called "2 and Half Grams"
will likely spend 2012 jobless, whiny, filthy and living with his parents at 43 King Street except it will be cool because he will refer to it as Occupy King Street.
can't wait

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Funny 2011 New Year's Resolutions for Facebook Status Updates

LeBron
resolves to create the world's most annoying TV show... "Glee: Jersey Shore Edition" staring Justin Bieber, LeBron James and Oprah as the Chilean Miners.
resolves to have each of my resolutions in 140 characters or less!
resolves to stop breaking into song at every opportunity... Or atleast stop watching Glee...
resolves to stop using Facebook as a communication tool for somebody in the

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2010 New Year's Resolution Funny Facebook Status Updates

NAME...
's 2010 New Year's resolution is to NOT interrupt Taylor Swift if she is making an acceptance speech at a music awards ceremony.
's 2010 New Year's resolution is to hide the golf clubs before having multiple "transgressions".
's 2010 New Year's resolution is to avoid having 8 kids and getting a reality TV show.
's 2010 New Year's resolution is to come up with another way to get on TV

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Funny New Year's Resolution Facebook Status Updates

NAME will resolve in 2008 to...


stop using the following phrase at work, "Deal..." (dramatic pause) "Or No Deal..."
work with neglected children. (my own).
stop replying to funny jokes he hears by saying, "L.O.L... L.O.L"
do less laundry and use more deodorant.
stop using Facebook as the primary communication method with his wife & kids.
read less.
stop tagging pictures of himself in pictures

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