FUNNY NEW YEAR STATUS UPDATES | HAPPY 2013

Well, Finally we are here. The year some predicted we won't have a chance to see... It's year 2013 my friends. Anyway there is that stuff that we had enough of it last year and we don't want it to continue this year that could be music, celeb gossips, dance styles, fashion, slogans e.t.c. and there are those Resolutions everyone talks about. Well, here's some Clever, smart statuses I've compiled just for you my follower to kick start your 2013.

1. _____Please no more Gangnam style, keep the gangnam style back in 2012.
2. _____Well, I guess the movie 2012 can go in the comedy section now.
3. _____Right before I left the house my wife asked me if I filled out my organ donor information and now I'm hesitant to start the car.
4. _____The meteorologist on the news gives the forecast then says, "People don't know the difference between weather and climate." Yes I do: "Oh look, a ladder I don't know weather I should walk under it or climate." See? Told you.
5. _____If you're nice to an animal, it loves you for life. If you're nice to a woman, who the hell knows what's gonna happen.
6. _____Got off work today and went for a run, about halfway through I was disrupted by a small group of children who thought it would be funny to run 5 ft ahead of me screaming as though being chased.. making me appear to passers-by like some sort of sweaty pedophile, and prompting an elderly man to yell "Leave them kids alone!"
7. _____10 years from now: "Dad, how did you meet mom?" "Well, your mom had the hottest profile pic, so I had to friend request that."
8. _____If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.
9. _____My new years resolution is 1920 x 1080.
10. _____The problem with new years resolutions is that people aim to high, start small like..."im not going to fart in church."
11. _____I was going to make my new years resolution to procrastinate more, but decided to wait until next year.
12. _____I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party..... when you here an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in.
13. _____Most people look forward to the New Year for a fresh start on old habits.
14. _____In 2013 I will stop listening to these voices in my head!
15. _____I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
16. _____Now what do I do? I haven't made any plans for New Year's since the world was going to end.
17. _____It would be easier to keep my New Year�s resolution to accept and forgive people if they�d stop being the same jerks they were last year.

Feel free to use these statuses as yours on facebook. No permission required.

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CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR FUNNY STATUS UPDATES

1. _____I already hate next year.
2. _____January: that special time of the year when a children's Xmas toys & his parents are BOTH broke.
3. _____ I'm not saying Happy Holiday's to anyone this year, instead I'm saying Merry Christmas
4. _____I'm making a list of all the things I'm throwing away before the new year including people.
5. _____Mass hysteria, people losing their morals, bodies all over the place!" No its not the end of the world but probably one hell of a party.
6. _____ Quit asking! I know nothing about the missing cookies!... now, if you will excuse me, I'm getting a glass of milk!
7. _____The world should consider ditching the metric system to use the American system, where everything is measured in shitloads and fucktons.
8. _____Life on earth may be expensive, but it includes a free trip around the sun.
9. _____The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside.
10. _____ After Facebook picked our minds for years, now it is asking How's it going? How am I feeling? and what's happening? Is this some kind of psycho Therapy?
11. _____I changed all my passwords to "women" since no one can figure them out.
12. _____I sneaked in my neighbor's house last night and ate up all their Christmas cookies. This secret Santa thing isn't so bad after all.
13. _____Does "You'll find love when you're not looking for it" apply to money too? Because let me be clear I am NOT looking for $10 million dollars.
14. _____Married people always ask when you're getting married like they get points for recruiting you to their club of misery.
15. _____You find my language offensive? I find yours generally chipper disposition completely unsettling, but I'm not all fucking uppity about it.
16. _____As I was leaving work a coworker said �SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!� and now I�m slashing his tires.
17. _____Admitting you have a problem is the first step: Hello. My name is ________, and I'm an idiot. It's been _____ days since my last good decision.

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